Sometimes, late at night, I see him out of
the corner of my eye.
He peeks into my office and then darts away
before I can turn my head
and get a good look. Always such a tease!
Sometimes I can feel his hand rest upon my
shoulder, or smooth down my hair, and I close my eyes and
just enjoy the touch.
Other times I hear his soft chuckle when I
do or say something blonde.
And, I can't help but laugh along with him,
since my hair is auburn.
When I am sad and feeling hopeless
He whispers a joke in my ear and tickles me
in the ribs.
Last week I was angry at God, and life, and
the long years ahead.
And he pulled my hair, told me to grow up
and stop being a brat.
Once in the wee hours of the morning I sat
and cried in the dark.
And, he cried with me without saying a word.
One afternoon I sat under a tree and dreamed
of happier times when I had watched the
dappled sun dance through leaves and a baby
try to eat a pansy.
He invaded my day dreams and made me see
today's beauty
Once while walking in the moonlight I asked
him, "Why?"
He merely shook his head, and hugged me
until I had forgotten the question
One morning, as I walked, waiting for the
sun to kiss this side of the street
I felt him take my hand in his. We both
stopped and smiled when we saw the robin
lose his fight with the
worm
Once I thought of Christmas's to come and
wondered who would call me
He reminded me that every light on the tree
would be a memory, not the sparkle of a tear
I know, on the day I die, he will be holding
me close and telling me not to be afraid.
He is so many things to me. Friend, mentor,
clown, priest, knight, guardian and
playmate.
He is not afraid of me
when I am angry with life.
He does not mock me or laugh at me or tell
me I am beautiful just to make me feel
better
He never leaves me, even when I wish he
could not see the pain in my heart
He is a phantom now, a memory, a dream, a
wish
And finally, he is all mine, just mine, for
no one else grieves for him anymore
He is my son, still a gift from God, even
though God has called him home.
By Rhonda
Aylesworth
Copywrite
In Memory of Sean E.L.E. Miller,
Jan 21,1983 ~ May 06,2004
In my son's affects, given to me after
his death,
there was a card that he had written and
never mailed. The card said,
"Could you maybe send me a card that
says you miss me? And, could you make
sure it has roses on the front? I love
roses, they remind me of my mother."
Since I read that on his birthday and
the anniversary of his death I buy a new
rose bush for Sean. Someday, when I
know I won't be moving again, I plan to
plant them all in a rose garden. I think
it shows so well that God really is
involved in every small detail of our
lives. He really does see the
hurts in our hearts and seeks to soothe
them. Who but God could have guided you
to use roses
on
this page,
when there was nothing in
the poem about them or how they have
become such a special connection between
my son and I ? I think it was His way of
acknowledging that pain within me and
letting me know that he cares even about
something that may seem so trivial to
others.
Love in Christ, Rhonda
In Memory of Sean E.L.E. Miller,
Jan 21,1983 ~ May 06,2004
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May God Bless You
are the 
child of God to visit this site since 1/1/99.
My first
book, The Shattered Soul,
A Grieving Mother's Journey Back To
God Will be available in Sept. 2006, by the
Grace of God!
The Tiana Foundation is a Christian, non-profit,
organization that provides grave markers and
free grief counseling to parents who have lost
children through neo-natal and early infant
death. I have written a book called, The
Shattered Soul; A Grieving Mother's Journey Back
To God. Two thirds of the proceeds of this book
will go to The Tiana Foundation and to grief
counseling. The book is being published and is
due to be for sale by the end of August, 2006.
My prayer is that God will bless this book, that
it will provide comfort and answers to grieving
parents everywhere and that through God's
blessings for The Shattered Soul, The Tiana
Foundation will continue to grow and be able to
expand in order to help many more parents find
peace with God's will.
Thank you Be Blessed,
Rhonda Aylesworth
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